By: Ajee B.
There’s a popular saying that many people say, “ Never let it break you, it will make you stronger.” My life has not been the easiest. I have battled with depression due to being in an abusive relationship. I use to question God and ask him, “Why me?” I just didn’t understand why these things were happening to me. I eventually became fed up with life and shut down. I was unhappy and not my bubbly self. I was hurting mentally, physically and emotionally. Back in 2005, I woke up from a dream, which filled me with a spark of positive energy. In that dream I saw a bright illuminating light and I heard whispers saying, “You can only be the light if you follow the light.” Inspired, I sat there thinking about what those words meant, I got up and made a huge move. I decided to get out of NYC and change my surroundings to a much more relaxing/ peaceful setting. I focused on building my spirit back up, but it still would not revive. I began to express myself through writing poetry and reading inspirational quotes. I came across another persons’ quote that talked about how a man should be treated like a king and a woman should be treated like a queen. I agreed with this quote because I felt it was referencing to the importance of mutual respect. This person turned out to be a wonderful man, who also became my best friend, father of my children and my true companion (my husband). He was my light, who led me out of the darkness. He carried a different spirit. His love is unconditional and genuine. God truly sent me an angel to help me through my tough times and offer me support through the good times. Times were tested when I was diagnosed with Chiari, I could feel myself weakening again, but my heart remained strong; pushing through in order to fight for my life. I wasn’t thinking about myself anymore, I was thinking about my family and loved ones who needed me around. I had brain surgery June 25th, 2011. I was scared because I was not sure if I was going to wake up from surgery or what state I would be left in. As I entered the operating room, I heard a song playing from the nurse station. The song that played at the moment when I was filled with fear was, “ I Smile” by Kirk Franklin. Being able to hear that song, hit home and melted my fear away. The surgery was a success. I had some difficult times ahead while going through the process of healing. I had to learn how to eat again, and walk again, but I knew God was with me, as he proves to be all the time. Looking back and reflecting, I know I have grown in my faith and I am able to gain my strength from my children, husband and family. God truly brought me through the storm and has helped me seek dry land. I almost gave up, but God sent down the Holy Spirit to guide me through. I am so blessed to have overcome so many obstacles in life. I am so thankful for my supportive and loving husband, my darling little angels (our children) and my loved ones. God is Great, God is Good, God is truly our strength; proving he will never leave our sides.